music

music makes me so happy. it's really strange to fathom how many genres of music there are in the world, and how it brings out emotions that people may not have felt before. looking back, i think overall, i really like rock. i never really liked pop, except really corny pop that's actually horrible, but you kind of feel bad about how bad it is, so you like it. ergo, my like for captain and tenille. i remember the first time i cried listening to a song, and it was actually only a year ago, when i was kind of melancholy, and i found a song called "i have never loved someone" by my brightest diamond. the song is about a mother, the lead singer, and how much she loves her son, and how she will always love him. it's honestly just the loveliest song i've ever heard, because one day, i'd like to feel that way towards everyone. i played that song on repeat for almost the whole night, and i just felt so sad because people didn't feel loved like the song explained. to be loved for anything you do must be absolutely sublime, and hopefully i can make someone feel that way. but what's truly amazing is that all music, all the lyrics, are poems, stories, and a little secret, or a little lie, or a little truth. add the words to a measure, with a specific time, with specific notes, and you have a song. you have a melody. it's incredible. honestly, music is amazing. i've always been fond of poetry and literature, and if you think about it, you may know a whole poem by heart because of the song. in eighth grade when i was studying ancient greek and roman history, i used to make up songs to remember the study material. i believe i made a song about rome during the reign of nero in the tune of diane renay's "navy blue". i'm pretty proud of that hahaha. anyways, i'll link the song incase you want to know/try to understand what i was writing about. my brightest diamond: i have never loved someone

"i have never loved someone the way i love you.

i have never seen a smile like yours

and if you grow up to be king or clown or pauper,

i will say you are my favorite one in town...

you're okay...

and if the breeze won't blow your way, i will be the sun

and if the sun won't shine your way, i will be the rain

and if the rain won't wash away all your aches and pain

i will find some other way to tell you you're okay

you're okay"

friends or friends one used to have

i have realized in the past few months that i don't have many friends. it may sound petulant writing about this, but to be honest, i don't mind it at all. one of the reasons i decided not to have a sweet sixteen is the fact that i really didn't know sixteen people that i would give a special commemorative candle to, and even people to invite in general. i remember one birthday party i had when i was younger, the guests were a majority of my mom's friends because i liked them better than my school mates. back to my original reason for writing this, is that i'm okay with how my friendships are for the most part. there are a few friendships that i would like to end or patch up, but the friends i have that are secure as my friends and vice versa, are really lovely to have around. i just don't believe that people should settle their whole life. whether in love, friendship, or in their job. settling is depressing to be honest. i don't want to be a pushover anymore, nor do i want to be pushed around with anything anymore. i love being nice people, but when people are mean to me, i can't take it. it makes me so sad. so why do i still surround myself with those people? who knows. i for sure don't. hopefully by the end of the school year i'll know where i stand with all of my friends. at least i don't have boyfriend problems due to the fact that i don't have a boyfriend *ba dum tss*

hello, nice to meet you

hi, my name is nadia. i live in new jersey, and i hope to travel the world some day. i was thinking about this earlier, and i don't want to go to college in new jersey when i get older, and actually be able to choose what colleges/universities i want to go to. even if it's one or two states away from new jersey, at least i won't be stuck in one place. i don't think i'll go crazy with my dreams and end up in washington or california, but probably somewhere in new england, or hopefully, washington d.c. i've been enamored with college board recently, and it's all i've been spending a good part of my free time on. i'm pretty sure this is the last time i'll switch potential vocations, but right now, and hopefully it'll be the same when i go to college, is developmental and child psychology. as long as i can remember, i've always wanted to work with children, except the three jobs that are exempt. i used to want to be a journalist until i realized i cannot write for my life, an actress for a short lived month, before i realized how bad my stage fright is, and then a business woman, but i just wanted to have a business without the business school. on college board, it said that courses that are recommended for high school students to take is statistics, but my school only provides ap statistics, and i have to have a b average in my math class as my final grade to be able to take it. i'm doing quite well in math this year, which i'm very proud of to be honest, so hopefully i can keep it up!! it's so strange to think that when i was younger i just kind of decided what my life would be life, without realizing how it get to be that certain way. i want to go to college. okay, but what college? what state? how you will commute? what's your major? i never really realized it until high school. and now, instead of planning my life, i actually have to plan the steps to get there, which is pretty fun to be honest, but also incredibly unnerving and disconcerting. best luck to me. i think i've romanticized college at this point, but i truly hope it's as great as i've made it up to be. i just want to start a new chapter of my life, with new people, new choices, and new possibilities.